


Raphael

by call_me_kat



Series: Toss you for Edinburgh? [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale and Crowley Were Both Raphael (Good Omens), Canon Compliant, Capitalized words to show ImportanceTM, Gen, God has FeelingsTM okay?, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I heard people say Crowley was Raphael and I went "oh really?", I wrote this in a composition notebook at three am because I have Too Many ThoughtsTM, Please be nice, Pre-Canon, She/Her Pronouns For God (Good Omens), The Fall (Good Omens), from God's perspective, like right after, this is basically me just trying to figure my own headcanons y'all, this time at least because I just finished watching the show for the third time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25720024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/call_me_kat/pseuds/call_me_kat
Summary: She wept when Her children Fell. She wept for eons and eternities and entirely too short before she was interrupted.It was Raphael. Of course, it was Raphael.The Fall tore Heaven apart, it tore more than just Heaven apart.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & God (Good Omens), Crowley & God (Good Omens), God (Good Omens) & Other(s)
Series: Toss you for Edinburgh? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1865557
Comments: 2
Kudos: 65





	Raphael

**Author's Note:**

> I was surprised that "Aziraphale and Crowley Were Both Raphael" is already a tag, but I'm happy that I'm not the only person with this idea  
> I hope you enjoy this!

She wept when Her children Fell. She wept for eons and eternities and entirely too short before she was interrupted, but She could not allow them to see Her weakness. They needed Her to be strong. They needed strength to Believe in. She had Rules. She had Her Plans. She still had their Trust, and She couldn’t risk it now.

It was Raphael. Of course, it was Raphael. He had always cared so deeply, so fiercely, for Her, for his siblings, for their creations. And he still cared now, but his face was not one of compassion. It held sorrow and curiosity and anger. She always saw Herself in him, in _all_ of Her children.

He had questions. Of course, he had questions. Every one of Her children had questions now. But few dared to voice them after the Fall, not even those beyond Heaven’s reach. They were always in Her reach even if they thought themselves beyond Her. She could see how lost they all were. He voiced them all. In his questions, there was hurt and worry and fear and what made _them_ different from _us_?

She had no answers for him, none She could share, and he grew more sorrowful, curious, and angry. He held more hurt, worry, and fear. He _demanded_ to know _what_ made _them_ different from _us_. He was weeping, burning tears of too many emotions.

She could not tell him. His questions divided Her. She could say so many things, but She would say none of them. She would not lie to him and She could not tell him the truth. _Nothing_ made _them_ different from _us_.

He stayed and his questions repeated and multiplied, dividing Her with every syllable. She wanted him to stop, to leave, to let Her weep in peace. But he remained and he asked his questions. There was no peace to be had in Heaven, not now, not for Her.

He asked again what made _them_ different from _us_. And the question split Her in two, brought tears to Her eyes, and gave Her an Idea. A wonderful, awful, brilliant, and bad Idea.

She drew him into Her arms and thought hard of his divisive questions. He pushed against Her, wanting Her comfort but refusing to let his questions be ignored. She held him closer. And suddenly, She had not one angel in Her arms, but two. One in each palm and peace found Her.

One of them was soft and steady and strong. He looked to Her and smiled a comforting smile as his eyes grew warm.

The other was sharp and shifty and striking. He looked to Her and asked questions rapidly as his eyes darted wildly.

She pulled Her arms in, ready to embrace this new strangeness. But the questioning angel stopped Her with a squirm. She tightened Her grip. She had to be careful. She had to protect. She had to hold tight. But he was quick and suspicious and finicky. He did not want Her to ignore his questions. He wanted Answers. He wanted them _now._

She tried to soothe him. He refused. She tried to sing to him. He refused. She tried to hold him. He refused, and to Her horror, slipped out of Her grasp. He Fell right out of Her hand, and it was an accident and a tragedy and all Her fault. 

He had not meant to Fall but he refused to regret it. His Fall was not like those before him, slowed by Her hand. They had jumped, plummeted faster than anything before them. He probably could have stopped, She would have let him. But he continued into fire and brimstone. WIth him he took his questions and his memories of doubt.

She pulled the quiet angel to Her chest, holding back tears as she watched white wings burn black. And he tapped Her hand. She cupped him in her hands, he would _never_ Fall, She would not allow it, and brought him to Her face. And he tried to comfort Her. He sang to Her. He talked to Her. He settled in Her hands and stayed as long as She wanted him to.

And he watched as She wept. Now She could never have Raphael back. She had this odd little angel without a name. She blinked tears out of Her eyes and named him. Aziraphale smiled at Her and thanked Her for his name. And She smiled back. 

Aziraphale had only one question, how could he help? She felt more tears stream down Her face. She told him that he only needed to be kind and true to himself. He did his best to wipe away Her tears and eventually She had to let him go. She could not show favoritism, not after what had just happened. Never again.

The Garden was beautiful. She almost did not want them to leave it. But She had Rules and a Plan and had to watch them go. With Aziraphale’s sword and Crawly’s knowledge, the humans would be okay. She knew and worried anyway.

She watched them talk as the first storm started and saw a gleam of Raphael between them. But now they were something else entirely, _someones_ else entirely. They were halves of the same soul. Sides of the same coin. A balance kept equal on Earth. Oh yes, that would do quite nicely. Plans can always be changed, no matter who wrote them.

Eventually they’d leave the Garden too. They’d see more than Raphael ever could have. And She missed him dearly, but She did not regret this decision. She missed all of Her children, because She Loved _all_ Her children. Fallen or not. Because there was nothing that made _them_ different from _us_.

She still wept for the Fallen and She wept for the remaining and She wept for the humans.

But She smiled for Raphael. She smiled for Aziraphale and Crawly and what they would become. Oh yes, She liked _this_ Plan much more already. This one had some real Promise.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, that's the fic  
> Hope you enjoyed it  
> Have a nice day/night wherever you are


End file.
